Live In or Not to Live In?

Regardless of whether your grandmother and grandfather approve or not, live-in relationships have begun to take precedence over marriages. I say, ‘Cynics never sleep’; so if you have yourself nodding your head in disagreement claiming that ‘Marriages are still the rulers of the game’, then I have news for you. It might just be time for you to wake up and smell the sunshine without a ring on your finger.

All said and done, moving in together might or might not be the best option for you and your partner. You wouldn’t want to end up singing Shaggy’s ‘It Wasn’t Me’ just because she has a pair of keys to your place now.

All said and done, living with your partner is going to change the equation for you, big time! Look at some of these emotional and financial aspects before you decide whether this is for you or not.

Be Clear about the Commitment Involved

If you do get down to living in together or even broaching the topic, you might want to ask yourself one little thing – ‘Why do we want to take the plunge?’

It might so happen that you may have different reasons for doing so. In the case of some women, they say, that they moved in hoping it was the next step after dating, and the step that came before marriage. However, in the case of their partners, it was just the most logical step to take – move in. What about marriage? “Who said anything about marriage?” those men would reply. You don’t want to be in the shoes of those women.

The logical thing to do would be to sit each other down and discuss this out like two mature individuals. Figure out what his/her reasoning is for moving in; and discuss yours. You have to ensure that both of you are at similar levels of commitment before you take this chance.

Going Dutch

Now the house doesn’t have to run on a single income. There will be two incomes to support the house. Ensure that you go Dutch on everything – house rent, grocery bills, all kinds of bills in fact.

A better way of doing this would be creating a joint account where both of you could contribute a pre-decided percentage of your salaries and this will help pay for the bills. It works more or less on the lines of a common purse or a kitty.

Ensure that you maintain a separate bank account for yourself. This way you wouldn’t be in the dark even in things don’t work out for both of you eventually. If you plan on buying a house together, insist on being co-owner.

Adjustment is the Magic Word

It all comes down to this one little word – ADJUSTMENT. Be prepared! This one little word will be capable of wrecking havoc in your life.

If you thought that being in a live in relationship is almost like your dating days, think again sweetheart! There’s much more at stake here. Annoying habits that didn’t come to the surface until yesterday are now going to stare you in the face. When you begin living in with your partner, you’ll realize how you’ve never been more allergic to wet towels on the bed or people letting out some flatulence when around you.

Personal habits have always known to come in the way of a good long term live in relationship. It is, thus, extremely important to be extremely accommodating and ensure that you maintain tolerance when it comes to your partner.

I’m Pregnant

Uh oh! This could be the turning point for both of you. Pregnancy, whether planned or unplanned, can come with own set of issues to deal with. First and foremost, you might want to discuss the legal aspects with your legal advisor. What kind of rights will your child be entitled to?

You might even want to consider future prospects when you’re taking responsibility for the baby. If your partner wants you to give up on your job to take care of the baby, you might want to take this from him in writing. Make formal agreements about everything related to the child. This will help you save yourself some serious trouble at a later stage.

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