1. If you are staying at a distant place that stops you from meeting your kids regularly, you must make sure that you stay in contact with them through emails, phone calls, video chats etc. Send cards at regular intervals, share jokes and silly stories with them whenever you get a chance. This will make the children feel that you are still with them.
2. The kids should never overhear you discussing negative things about their mother or anyone related to their mother. This may affect the relation between you and your children.
3. Always stay predictable to the kids. Keep the promises you make to them. This will make the kids feel that they are important to you.
4. Never forget the birthdays and holidays of your kids. The little ones wait for such occasions extremely eagerly and get severely hurt when they find their father has forgotten their holidays or birthdays.
5. Assist your children to express what they feel in front of you. Listen to their words carefully without interrupting them and if you find that they are having trouble to communicate with you, make them understand that sharing their feelings with your will make them feel comfortable. Your kids must know that that will be loved and cared by you in every situation.
6. You must invest time separately to each of your kids. You have some special moment with each of your children, where only two of you will be present.
7. Being a single dad means you are the only person to take care of your kids; so having good health is extremely important for you. Go for regular checkups to the doctor’s place, follow a healthy diet plan, exercise regularly to make sure that you don’t fall ill and have enough emotional strength and energy to handle your kids.

According to several studies conducted over the years, it has been proved that music affects our mind and body intensely. Music posses healing properties that can help us come out of depression and ease our muscle tension. Music therapy has been used for helping the cancer patients in combating stress. People who are experiencing post operative stress are also often suggested to undergo music therapy. Children with attention deficit disorder react wonderfully when treated with music therapy. The use of music for improving overall health of human beings has become more common in the past decade. Music not only enhances our mental health but also improves out body balance.

Majority of the people of the current generation are victims of stress. This gives birth to the requirement of a tool that can offer stress management every day. Music is the only affordable answer to this quest. Other than that unlike other remedies for stress for instance massage, counseling, meditation and yoga, listening to music will not require you to invest a certain time without doing anything. You can listen to music whenever you want, while driving the car, while working on the computer or while lying down and resting. According to physicians and mental health professionals, listening to relaxing numbers can stimulate activities in our brain corresponding to the beats. This means when we listen to soothing music, it encourages relaxation and contemplation.

It is more troublesome, if you have more than one kid. Chicken pox is a viral and highly contagious disease which is caused by the virus known as varicella. 90 per cent of those who suffer from this condition are children, 14 and under. This condition is mostly rears its head during the months of March to May, during warmer climates.

While many parents today, opt for the vaccination against this disease, many parents choose not too, as once you have got chicken pox, you are not likely to get it again. Vaccination, however, does not result in 100 per cent protection against chicken pox. Chicken pox results in tiny blisters on small lesions forming all over you face, trunk, limns as well as the scalp.

These blisters contain fluids and are very itchy. After these blisters break, they form a crust. This disease is quite an uncomfortable experience for kids and quite harassing for parents who try to stop their kids, from constantly scratching the blisters. Some other symptoms include, stomach pain, fever, lack of hunger, not to forget the unsightly rash.

Chicken pox is however, stronger in adults compared to children; however those who are vaccinated might have a mild case. All you need for treating this condition is simple home made recipes and a lot of patience. A calming warm water bath infused with oatmeal will help relieve itching. This is important, as itching can result in scarring.

You can also apply calamine lotion for relief from itching over the blisters. This helps in drying them out and soothing the skin. Regarding other symptoms like fever, all you need to do to give your child some over the counter medication.

Children are often observed screaming in the middle of their sleep. Either they come running to your rooms or you run to them to find out what happened. At the sight, you may find your child screaming, crying, shivering, and sweating, and you try to find out what is wrong with the kid. The kid would be panicky and you would really have to shake him to bring him out of the dream. What causes him to get frightened? May be a nightmare that someone was chasing him until he ran into a dead end, or something like he was falling from a high cliff. These frightening dreams could actually make the child sick, with pale looking face, swollen eyes with under bags, dark circles around them, tiredness at school making him just want to go to sleep. As well as these, the lack of sleep could bring in them signs like short- temper, impatience, headaches, and being petrified to go to bed. Children are actually seen to tell their parents that they didn’t want to go to bed, and because of the reason not being told, it gets quite late when the parents discover the nightmare problem in their kids.

According to recent studies, 50 % of kids in the age group of 3 – 6 had terrible experiences with nightmares. Doctors report it as a normal developmental function. Parents can try out things like making the child draw his dreams, write about them if they are too scared to talk of them. This can be done to make sure that kids reveal out what goes on in their minds. As an additional safety measure, parents can get the windows of the children’s rooms sealed with ventilator nets and have easy locks on doors that kids could operate. But in several cases, these options don’t seem to work.

Psychiatrists and child specialists suggest even better techniques like the imagery rehearsal therapy wherein the victimized kid is asked to imagine a different conclusion to his nightmare. The end can be neutral or positive, but just not a negative scene. Imagery rehearsal therapy helps kids and adults to change their dreams, a tiny bit of it or the whole thing. For example, a kid having a nightmare like someone’s chasing him. He can probably end his nightmare by imagining a unique end, say the chaser turns into a bunny- shaped chocolate cake and suddenly his family appeared in the light wishing him a happy birthday. So this nightmare turns out to a surprise happy birthday party.

Children and adults, anyone suffering from this kind of a sleep disorder can treat it with the help of imagery rehearsal therapy. 80 % of such people have found their nightmares to disappear after trying and practicing the therapy for a few times.

These are the same Americans who pose no objection, rather regard it as making no difference, when unmarried couples have live- in relationships and gay couples raise children. The main reason that was discovered behind such a mentality of the Americans is their vision about a single parent, esp. a mother. They do not view a single mother as a financially secure parent who can take care of all the needs of her children. The research says that the society, probably, finds many cases that display children of single mothers having to suffer all the worst in life, may be 8 out of 10 times. Single mothers may be women who love their children as much as themselves, but in the end what counts is that they have been abandoned by their husbands due to some errors in the relationship which ‘they’ could not rectify. They may not be able to provide the required time and resources to their kids, and hence, they may set a bad example as a parent to follow for their children.

It is sad, rather than a shock, to know that the most liberal and forward country of the world has inhabitants with this kind of a mindset.

Now what if I was to tell you that the son is 35 and is married and is still living in the family house with his parents? Doesn’t the situation seem a little more scarred now?

This relationship is what is called a codependent relationship and it is beginning to become extremely common in today’s world.

People are overcome by feelings of family secrets, shame, guilt, low self-esteem, repressed anger; and they end up avoiding their own values so that they can avoid inviting the wrath of the other person. These are just some of the few red flags of a relationship based on codependence.

At one point in time, codependence was a term that used to only be linked to drug addiction and alcoholism at one point in time. Codependent was the name given to the person who was said to enable the alcoholic. The classic situation of a codependent relationship would be that of the husband getting so drunk that he couldn’t make it to work; and the wife having to call the boss and inform him that the hubby won’t make it to work today.

In today’s world, psychologists are said to have a broader definition of the term ‘codependency’ and they are talking about it from the perspective of emotional dependencies.

Come to think of it, almost every relationship is codependent at some level. However, most people will have what can be described as low-grade infections of codependent relationships. These people will be able to deal with the relationship and will learn how to adapt themselves and work around the relationship. In the case of others, the form of infection is a little more aggressive; and this is what causes for them to fall prey to depression; or develop an addiction and run into problems with their relationships. They will end up becoming unduly self-sacrificing and they might even indulge in self-destructive behavior.

The problem lies with one simple fact. We’re all addicted to hope. We hope that the person will change. Before any of that change begins, you will have to first begin dealing with your addiction to hope. Start setting some limits around the house/workplace, depending on the person in question. You will then have to put into place a plan that can help you change a few things. The plan just has to make sense. Once you find a sensible plan, you will have to begin moving through those steps and ensure just one thing – No Backpedaling Allowed!

Childhood Roots:

In most cases, the vulnerability to the concept of codependency takes root right when the child is younger. The trigger for this is generally a parent who might be addicted. This addiction could be the bad types – to alcohol or to drugs; or the good types – to work, religion, food, and gambling or computer games.

In some cases, misery could be the addiction. The person involved might get hooked onto the feeling of being constantly unhappy and play the role of the victim. This would mean that the person in question will learn to get the attention of people by making everyone feel sorry for them.

The main problem with codependent relationships is that regardless of the scenario, no one wants to talk about it. This is what lies at the crux of this unhealthy problem. People consider it to be the big family secret, and this might actually leave the children with powerful feelings that they will learn how to repress.

Firstly, get this part straight – typical bratty behavior is generally curable. Your child is known to put the antics on full display because he/she believes that the antics get them what they want. Once they know that this isn’t true, they will stop trying.

If you want to change your child’s behavior, you will require loads of patience, introspection and determination. If you want to change certain things about your child’s behavior, it will take a time of about 3 weeks for the changes to begin.

Is taking the bull by the horns worth it? Yes, it is! Take it from me. If your child continues to be so demanding and self-centered, he/she will have difficulty with making new friends. Also, as per research, children who have been overindulged as kids have higher chances of turning into teens that depend on drugs.

The most important part of parenting help for spoiled brats would include differentiating between the types of brat that you are blessed with.

The Protestor:

Think about this. As a parent, have you gotten used to giving your child a lot of explanations if you want them to do something? If you’ve been doing that, your child will use your tactics and it’ll seem like all your ideas are backfiring. When you give in to his explanations, he will realize that arguing his way out of things is easy. However, you have to realize that if he gets into ‘argument’ mood every time, he will never learn the concept of ‘self-discipline’ which he will need in order to get things done in his life.

Try and give strict instructions, wherein there is no room left for argument. Try and coin some standard retorts that can break the protest. For instance, you could use “Everyone in this house is expected to keep it neat and clean”, when he refuses to clean the house.

The Consumer:

This is the child who will always find something or the other at every store that he needs to have. Chances are that you might be tempted to give in to their demands so as to avoid having a scene right there at the store. Or perhaps, you just love the look on his face when he gets a gift from you. Regardless of why you buy him stuff, the truth is that you’re doing him a disservice. All your child learns from screaming and getting what he wanted is that it does exactly that. All he has to do is scream, and create a scene, and he’ll have exactly what he wanted to begin with. This would mean he will never again take pleasure in anticipating that elusive birthday gift. He will never save up for a toy. Do you really want to take those pleasures away from him?

Healthy parenting help would also mean that you prepare your child for situations that you may deem difficult. For instance, on your next trip to the toy store, you could inform your kid in advance that you’re going there to get something for Cousin Steve, and he will not be at the liberty of picking anything up for himself. If your child throws a fit of anger, avoid the topic and go about your business for the day.

If you stick at it for long enough, your child might actually begin to enjoy the things he has in life. He will also begin to remember the excitement that he first felt when he was given a gift.

The One with Imprudence:

If your child is the kind of child who tends to say the wrong things (the things that are deemed rude and disrespectful), you could end up being in really awkward situations! For instance, when presented with a sweater, your 7 year old screams out, ‘But I wanted a Barbie!’

At first you may have shirked the comments away thinking that your child is too young to understand how other people feel or how they get affected by his/her words or behavior. Kids need to be taught how to be considerate, respectful and appreciative.

Try to help your kid become a little more sensitized towards other people’s feelings. Teach him to empathize with people. Absolutely refuse to tolerate disrespect in any form. Teach him how to correctly communicate his feelings, without disrespecting the person he is talking to.

When your child begins treating everyone well, thanks to your parenting help and skills, chances are that he’ll make better friends and will turn into a person that everyone wants to spend time with.

But now as my marriage date moves closer, I am sure that I want to get along with my mom-in-law. She seems like quite a nice person; plus she cares about her son, who is my to-be husband.

If you are also soon getting married or have already gotten married and want to have an amicable relationship with your mother-in-law (MIL) try and follow these tips.

Work Through Your Own Feelings:

Try and put yourself in her shoes. Do you think you can begin to think like her? If you try and do so, you’ll notice that her behavior that you sometimes tend to find is judgmental is actually coming from a place that you get. Always remember that she is one woman who attaches great value to the person that you’re married to. This, by virtue, should make her nice.

Staying Polite:

This one is tougher than it sounds. If you have a negative relationship with your mother in law, chances are that you’d have to keep your mouth shut when it comes to the comments that are overly critical. When I say stay polite, I don’t mean to say that you should put up with everything being dished your way. You could try and stand up for yourself.

Make sure that you never criticize your MIL in front of your husband/wife. This will put them in quite the spot. Even if they want to support you, they cannot.

Laugh It Off:

Try and deflect all criticism by using humor. Using humor to your advantage might actually be able to put everyone at ease once again. If you think that the only thing she’s good at is complaining, then try and find some witty retorts to come up with every time she points a finger at you.

Try and Praise Her:

Praise is one thing that always works. Try and praise her when she’s in your presence; but make sure that your praise is genuine. Fakeness is known to show quite easily, so don’t even attempt it. Praising a person and his/her behavior is generally known to be the most successful of all techniques when it comes to ensuring that you get that sort of desired behavior from the person. Try and focus on her good points. (I’m sure she has some!!!)

Get To Know Her:

Remember, she’s as human as you are. So even she’s faced all the trials and tribulations of life before she got to the spot that she is in today. Take some time out and ask her questions about her life. Making an attempt to know her might actually show you that most of the complaining is due to her tendency to worry that you and her child (your spouse) are going to repeat the mistakes she made when she was younger. If you try and understand her as a person, you may stand a better chance with getting a chance to reassure her.

Here are some points to keep in mind

Talk Positively:
If your teen smells ‘negativity’ when you discuss the topic of ‘sexuality’, chances are that he/she will tune out. Talk to him as positively as you can, while getting your facts right!

Don’t Leave the Boys Out:
According to most survey results, parents, especially mothers, will find it much easier to talk to the girls about sex. This is because it is extremely easy to broach the topic by beginning with menstruation and their menstrual cycle. When it comes to boys, it’s tougher to bring up topics like ejaculation and wet dreams. But what must be done must be done! Do not shy away from discussing the sexual urges of your teenager boy and let him learn to be comfortable with his own body.

Involve Romance:
Try and sell the idea of romance and sex being interrelated. Talk to them about how it all begins with a smile and then might progress to kissing and finally some touching and eventually intercourse. Get them involved in a step by step approach; and this should help them stop at any given point that they want to.

Differentiate Between Information For Boys and For Girls:
Girls need to be taught about how to firmly tell a boy that they mean it when they say ‘NO’. In a lot of cases, the girl might shy away from the topic or just not respond; and this could send mixed signals to the boys pursuing them. Boys, on the other hand, need to learn how to take a ‘NO’ from a girl very seriously; or they could find themselves at the receiving end for charges that include date rape or sexual abuse.

Discuss Oral Sex and Its Dangers:
Unfortunately, our children are growing up in a world that is shadowed by the perils of HIV/AIDS. A lot of kids think (wrongly) that oral sex is a convenient and casual way of indulging in sexual behavior without actually affecting their virginity. If there is exchange of any sort of bodily fluid, it could cause for HIV or STDs.

Both Parents Need To Be Involved:
Both you and your partner need to get involved in the process and offer your own perspectives. No partner is allowed to get off the hook and go scot-free. In the case of discussing what is appropriate and what is not the same sex parent (father – son and mother-daughter) would do a better job; but when it comes to demystifying the opposite sex, a different combination would work better (mother –son and father-daughter).

Remember that sex education is part of an educational conversation and shunning the topic will do you no good. Get involved in your child’s life and ensure that he gets his/her information from the right sources.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn’t know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

In today’s date and age, you don’t need to resort to such harsh methods of punishing your child for a wrongdoing. It isn’t necessary (or even morally right) to spank the kids or even worse, starve them!

Ditch the old school methods of disciplining and make way for some new and effective tips.

Ages 2 – 5:

This one age group that is extremely difficult and tricky to manage, in that, they’re too young to understand ‘pearls of wisdom’ and they’re not young enough to be tied down while you get that manicure done. If you want peace and quiet, then you’d have to wait until they get beyond the age of 6 (and the ‘peace and quiet’ isn’t guaranteed even then).

Option 1 – Time Out:

Some parents claim that all they have to do is give their child ‘the look’ and the kid will stop doing whatever it was that he/she was doing to wreak havoc. I personally find this claim very hard to believe, simply because I cannot picture a child stopping midway when he sees ‘the look’. Time out has always worked for me.

Place a time out chair or corner in your house. Every time the child misbehaves, let him/her be sent there. Ensure that this corner or this chair is far away from people or the television or any of his/her toys. Once here, the child will calm down and then you can have a talk with them.

Option 2 – Hugsy Is The Bait:

This one is a little tricky, but generally works. A little bit of threatening is necessary for your kid to understand who the real boss is. Each and every kid has that one toy/accessory that is precious to them. Keep the toy or accessory away from them for a couple of hours to a day, depending on how badly they’ve behaved. Trust me when I say this, but they’d rather begin behaving well than lose that favorite stuffed toy again.

Ages 6 – 10:

This age group has its own ups and downs to deal with. There is so much a sense of individuality that has begun to develop by now; that you have to be selective of the words you use. If not, you might risk ‘hurting’ the kid emotionally.

Option 1 – Do The Chores:

A few decades ago, children had to help around the house and the kitchen (We’re sure the old woman in the shoe got her children to help her out). Today, however, modern technology and the maids in our houses take care of pretty much all the work that there is to be done. Since the kids aren’t really used to doing chores, dishing out chores when they’re wronged is a brilliant way of working the magic. Get them to feed the cat, do the laundry, or wash the windows (choose activity as per the kid’s age). Use these methods in scenarios that you deem appropriate; and who knows, you may even be surprised with the outcome!

Ages 10 – 13:

You’re dealing with a preteen here. The teenager angst may be a thing of the past, but your 10 year old sure can remind you of the era gone by. Choose your words wisely, for there will be a counter-remark lurking around the region at any given point in time.

Option 1 – Pay Up:

Your son just kicked the football indoors and you walk into the room to find that crystal bowl in shatters. Yelling at him now won’t do you any good. You could, however, ask him to pay up from his beloved allowance. This is bound to pinch him.

This method is bound to work with kids who are slightly older, because they’ve already begun valuing money a little and do save up for things that they’d like to buy for themselves. Getting him to pay for the damage will ensure that he doesn’t repeat such behavior.

Ages 13 and Above:

You’re dealing with a full blown teenager now; or a young adult in the making.  They have their opinions and they know how to communicate just that. Punishing them won’t do. You’ve got to let them know that for a little while more, you’re the one holding the reins. They’ve got to make you believe that they’re capable of running their own life.

Option 1 – Curfew! :

Around a decade back, most kids would be put to bed by sundown; but this isn’t the case anymore. By the time your kid wraps up the day with studies and tuitions in place, it’s almost 8 pm. But if your kid is acting responsible, cut down on the curfew that you’ve given him/her for beyond 8 pm.

Option 2 – Digital Grounding:

At one point in time, telling your child ‘No going out to meet friends’ would do the trick; but today, they’ll manage to get all the ‘goss’ via text messages, facebook (or the internet at large); or they’ll manage to entertain themselves with some television viewing or some Xbox/Playstation gaming. The best way to get through to them would be to digitally ground them. No more electronic gadgets or gaming consoles for a week. This should do the trick!

Remember:

The difference between punishing and discipline is that discipline comes with explanation about the wrongdoing and some amount of correction for the mistakes already committed.